I had a communications training yesterday and the question that one can always expect is _What are your goals in life or for work"_ my answer was to be happy in what I'm doing.
Currently I'm happy with what I'm doing but I sense there is far more that I can do (at my current employer). But there are a few things holding me back or that is what I think.
First is growth which is limited in my department. Which the change of contract we don't know how thing really look like until June.
Inspiration is the second. If I have a good boss I'm willing to out in the extra effort. Go that extra mile. And I would for him but the problem my direct manager. I expect a manager that inspires me to be great and push for more. What we're getting is one that is playing it safe in his advantage and delegating everything he can. Funny how easily he does that when he says at the same time we need to find a way to reduce the amount of work we have.
He's picking people that he feels he can control for his team but alienating perhaps even more qualified ones because of this behaviour. They see that the recruiting process is rigged and that demotivated.
Holding on to weak links in a team (for too long) or protecting those that are causing tensions because they're vital to him (in terms of not doing the job himself, and backing him in issues).
The last 6 months I've really doubted whether it is still for me, I can't stand hypocritical people and he's one of them. But walking away is not an option, not without certain (financial) security.
Last is the direction the direction the management is going in and how I feel they should. Being in the working council I've had a direct link to the management team, it opened my eyes to a new world. One were I had to be more political that I am but also accept a small defeat for the greater good.
It did however expose a weakness to me. Loyalty, people that don't perform on low/mid management level are being kept. While those that actually bring in the money and put in a stable performance are let go. This is something everybody has seen at one time at a company they worked.
I feel weak at times when I do not have the ability to change thing for the better (as I'm typing this I might have come up with a way to do this and will try it). This feeling is fueled by those in position to take decision but seem to be out of touch wat really effects the process. One example is looking for a 6 month solution to an up coming change and then discuss a solution than to fix it right away so you don't have to think about it again. And we can go on with examples like these.
But do I know what I want to do? No, there isn't something that stands out which I can aim for. I have too many ideas, not creating enough time and perhaps too much fear of taking the step out of my comfort zone.
I like helping people and people see and say it and I try not to see every opportunity I help as a chance to get something in return but just do it because it feels right and help the person. Educate to understand things better and hopefully grow as a person.
A friend of mine told me how he helped coworkers at the start of his career at his current company not because he wanted to work his way up but because if they performed well it would benefit the team (not specifically financially). It also create a bond. But his mindset has changed due to the managers at his work. Now he's more in the 'Me' mode. I don't want to be that though I know I'm slipping in that direction.
Looking back I wrote more than I intended and still didn't my point across.
I know I need a/to change but have no clue on how to do it.